NPR Zombie Spoof: 'Wait Wait Don't Eat Me!'

If, or when, the zombie apocalypse happens, there will be a lot of changes from trying to survive in "The New World". There will be a lot of adjustments such as finding food, stocking up on running shoes, and things like, I don't know, what to listen to on the radio.

NPR has always been a great source of news, but every week people look forward to "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me". Have you ever wondered what their episodes might sound like? Now you don't have to wonder any longer.

Check out this script here and you will not have to wait any longer.

(Thanks to The Huffington Post)

A Clip from Spaced...

Sorry for the brief posts. Joey is working on a zombie version of our program guide for Core Con, and, well, I actually caught a virus. I am not kidding, but I shouldn't be turning into a zombie any time soon.
We will get back to you very, very soon. Again, I am not kidding.

Love Shaun of the Dead? And Simon Pegg? Seriously, get your hands on the sitcom Spaced. This is one of the great many clips that is hard not to share, but really, go get the show. You won't be disappointed. Unless, well, you can't understand British accents. We can't help you with that.

Zombie in Young Adult Lit

I have been reading a ton of children and young adult literature since I graduated from college five years ago. I have read some of the great classics and went through different phases of angels, vampires, werewolves, unicorns, magic and more magic... mostly mixed with some type of romance, adventure, you know, the usual. The one topic I never thought would rest on my nightstand would be zombie lit. Also, zombies and romance? That is something truly new. Of course, not all romance is with the zombie. (I don't mean to offend such couplings. To each their own, I guess...)

Anyway, I thought I would post book trailers for two zombies books written by Carrie Ryan. Her newest one comes out next week. I read the first one and I was quite impressed.

Onto the trailers:

Article about the release of The Dead Tossed Waves: A love story, with zombies

Movie Pitch: Zombie Mom

OK, here's the Trailer:

(Camera pans over ruined cities with swarms of zombies chasing survivors)

In a world, overrun by zombies. Only one woman has the heart to fight her way back to her lost son. One woman has the brains to navigate the ruined wastes. Her only problem? She has no heart, and the brains ain't hers.

(Fade to a female zombie in kick ass gear/outfit)

It's Zombie Mom.

(Flashback to the woman, now human with a child playing and laughing together)

A boy pulled from his life gets a second chance with the mother he tragically lost.

(Boy, now in early twenties, hiding in a closet as the door is broken down by Zombie Mom)

Boy: (in terror) MOMMYYYYY

Zombie Mom: Actually, yes.

(Zombie Mom and Boy kicking ass, body close up/slow mo shots)

Can this unlikely duo survive the intolerable wastes full of monsters that will stop at nothing to destroy you without question...

(Transition to duo running from rednecks in trucks, ducking just out of the way of gunshot, only to discover the alley they found shelter is full of zombies)

...and the zombies outside?

(Boy eating a PB&J in and abandon groceries store)

If they survive long enough, will they be able to have the heart to heart neither of them got?

(Pan to Zombie Mom eating an actual human heart)

(Action scene showing a laboratory full of chemicals)

Boy: Mom, if I activate the cure, everyone will become human again, and you won't be able to survive.

Zombie Mom: Just do what your mom tells you, and don't call me Mom. Call me Mom-bie.

(Flash to Logo)

Coming December 21st, 2012

I'm just sayin'

The Crazies: The 'Z' stands for Zombie

We went to The Crazies on opening night this Friday. I didn't realize it was even coming out until my wife reminded me. We had originally written it off as an almost zombie movie that was not zombie enough. That was before Natasha discovered it was a re-make of a Romero move by the same name, and Romero seemed to approve of the movie as well.

The Crazies was a good survival horror movie, with plenty of cheap jump out moments. I enjoyed the main characters a lot, but I am left wondering if the characters had some very human flaws, or the writers left out some major plot points. Radha Mitchell plays the lead female, a small town doctor, who is married to Timothy Olyphant, the town sheriff and leading actor. Both characters were very likable and fought for their lives believably through every conceivable hardship the government and zombies could throw at them. The questionable moments involved the spread of the infection, and the fact that Radha played a nurse. I haven't decided whether she was too stressed/exhausted out to properly care for the potential spread of the infection, or if the writers didn't realize that a little peroxide goes a long way.

My favorite theme of this movie was the individuality of the military soldiers. They were portrayed as soulless monsters when in groups wearing masks, but when confronted individually, they were just teenage kids following orders. Kids who don't want to die anymore than they want to kill.

The actual zombies were not your standard Romero zombies. They still fit according the the new rules of zombiehood, though. This is how they acted.

They were infected by an external source, and may or may not have been infectious. They mostly had no rationality, though one pair were out for revenge. It's unclear if they had been fully under the influence of the virus though. The zombies swarmed several times, and had nothing but murder on their minds. They did seem to posses slightly heightened speed and vitality (through lack of caring about pain), and did retain the full ability to use tools and weapons. These zombies are on the very boarder of even the new definition, but I'll allow it.

Redefining Zombie

The media attention of The Crazies this past week has caused a hoard of articles rising from the unknown to discuss the difference between zombie and non-zombies. Let me begin by debunking all the non-zombie claims at once.

If it is covered in blood, is running at you with a murderous glazed over look, and was created/inspired by George A. Remero, then it's a zombie. No, I don't want to hear your 'justifications' like "but it was an alien parasite" or "he's just a bit ill". They are zombies. Not just the ones from The Crazies, but all of them. Let's look at a few definitions.

Zombi: a dead body that has been brought back to life by a supernatural force

Note the spelling. Zombi without an 'e' at the end is a word that originates from Haitian culture. Brought to America in the 1920's, the term was in referencing a practice from the Voodoo religion. The zombi was thought to be a dead person brought back to life by a 'bokor' (Voodoo Priest), and then under the priests control. Scientists that have studied the religion and have found that it was most likely caused by a combination of drugs that caused a near death state in the victim, followed by a trance that allowed control over their will by voice suggestion. This theory is largely untested, and controversial, but that is where the term comes from. The origin of the very word was used in reference to the dead rising solely by magic, and has ties to still living humans instead of the actual dead.

Ghoul: a folkloric monster associated with graveyards and consuming human flesh, often classified as undead.

Before the term "Zombie" was popularized, the modern zombie was a nameless creature dating back to the begining of litereature itself. In Gilgamesh, goddess Ishtar threatens the following:

I shall bring up the dead to consume the living,

I shall make the dead outnumber the living

One Thousand and One Nights (Origin of Aladdin) labels a similar creature as a Ghoul. The term Ghoul does indicate a creature that is undead, and it wasn't until the mid 1970s that the word zombie was adopted as a replacement for ghoul. The Italian title for the 1968 Night of the Living dead was dubbed Zombi, and after the unauthorized sequel Zombie 2, the name stuck. This change in definition, from requiring a Voodoo curse to now just being undead has only been around for 40 years, and the definition has been changing the entire time.

Living Dead: a blanket term for various films and series that all originated with the seminal 1968 zombie movie Night of the Living Dead created by George A. Romero and John A. Russo.

George Romero popularized zombies in the 1968 classic Night of the Living Dead. Much like the 1000 BC reference in Gilgamesh, Romero also did not use the term. The film portrayed zombies as slow and weak reanimated corpses that may have originated from radiation from a space probe. Romero has updated his zombies as he expands on his works to the point that zombies have been show to posses basic levels of speech. Modern audiences have required more thorough explanations for supernatural events, and Romero has evolved his zombies with these expectations.

Movies like 28 Days Later have used viruses as reasons for zombies, and even Zombieland defined its creatures as sufferers of an advanced form of Mad Cow. Slither used aliens to start the apocalypse, and many games like Dead Rising have followed suit with alien brain parasites. None of these specifically have the dead being brought back, but I argue that all contain zombies. The methods of causing the zombie outbreak are often an important role in the stories, but secondary to the the focus of fighting bloodthirsty, crazed killers.

It's important to know why it matters. As a fan of zombies, I argue that we not only need more zombies in our culture, but we also need more fans. Someone may go to The Crazies, and if they enjoyed the elements of the film, such as suspense, apocalyptic setting, and survival horror, they should know that they just named the elements of nearly all zombie movies.

So what really makes a zombie. Let's break down the common elements.

1) Undead

2) Cannibalistic

3) Violent

4) Primal

5) Swarms

6) Enhanced speed

7) Deteriorate speed

8) Enhanced strength

9) Enhanced vitality

10) Infectious

11) Rotting

12) Moaning

13) Screaming

Speed, strength, intelligence, vitality, degree of decomposition, and noises vary greatly in the genre. Staples of early zombies like slow moving, groaning, thoughtless monsters have been replaced in newer iterations with fast, screaming, intelligent creatures, in even Romero's own continuing series.

I think it's time to take a look at the list, and agree that if it's close to a zombie, then we'll call it one. I say we welcome all who wish to join our zombie revolution. I propose a new definition.

Zombie: A human that has lost all rationality, often coupled with physical attribute changes in speed and strength due to adrenaline or deterioration, whose sole purpose is to eat, infect, or kill other humans. Common causes are: Magic, Science, and Alien Parasites. The 'infection' is either easily transmitted by fluid contact, or occurred on a large scale by an external force. Zombies always cause or are part of swarms.

Now all the movies, books, and games that people claim aren't technically zombies, can now claim to be 100% zombie. I welcome all types and forms.

Except for sparkles. Zombies don't sparkle.

Causes for ranting

http://kotaku.com/5481509/where-have-all-the-zombies-gone

http://moviesblog.mtv.com/2010/02/26/the-crazies-is-not-a-zombie-movie-and-neither-are-these-five-thrillers/

sources:

http://jimgetz.org/2009/09/16/ishtar-and-zombies/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombie

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Living_Dead

Hell's Ground

Io9 released compiled a list of best Rotten Tomatoes Zombie movies. The following was #1.

I'm trying to track down a copy of the movie, but it is hard to find since it was a limited release in 2007, and it is not a mainstream Hollywood movie. It is being called "Pakistan's first ever modern horror movie" in its marketing. Rotten Tomato gave it a 100%.

io9's top Sci-Fi movies on Rotten Tomatoes